Cheating or Infidelity is the breaking of trust that occurs when you keep profound, meaningful secrets from a committed primary partner.
Unlike previous generations, currently women and men cheat at approximately the same rates, though the reasons why women cheat may be different from men.
There is also common misperception that it’s only men who step out on their partners and that women are always faithful. To that, we ask: Who are all these men cheating with exactly? Do heterosexual men only cheat with single women and each other?
The simple truth is that approximately as many married, heterosexual women cheat as married, heterosexual men. Research suggests that 10 to 20 percent of men and women in marriages or other committed (monogamous) relationships will actively engage in sexual activity outside of their primary relationship.
Even though most women who engage in relationship infidelity understand on some level that what they are doing is potentially harmful to both their relationship and their partner, they continue with the behavior. Below are some common reasons for female infidelity.
Revenge
A lot of women who cheat are getting revenge on their partners, after being seriously hurt. Affairs can do a lot of damage, but instead of crying with their friends, women are finding a single hot man and showing him exactly how much it hurts to know your partner has cheated on you. Not clever, really, but understandable...there is only so much yelling can achieve, and the hurt is intense. It can easily block rational thought, and even someone who knows two wrongs can’t make a right could be tempted into pay-back.Feeling neglected
Feeling completely neglected is another common cause of affairs. Women just can’t put up with not having any attention, and if they aren’t getting it at home, they’ll get it from men outside. But one thing can lead to another, and being exposed to flattery which is so rare can make it so much easier for a charming womanizer to talk his way into her bed. Well, I don’t know if it’ll get results, and I’d recommend a talk over a fling any day, but this is understandable too. Don’t stand for being neglected!Replacement
A surprising number of women admitted to cheating to find their next partner so they wouldn’t be single when they left their current partner. Shocked? I was! After all, cheating on your partner can’t make you attractive to potential boyfriends, right? Well, it seems to be happening more and more. I can’t really get my head around this one. If you want to leave, go, and if replacing him with a new man fast is important, throw yourself into blind dates, speed dating and nights out. But be honest!Feeling a relationship ending
When a woman feels that uneasy sense that a relationship is on the outs, by either her doing or his, she will often look to fill the void externally to soften the blow. If she is the one considering the breakup, she may be using this tactic as a challenge to herself both testing the waters, and then gauge if she can go through with it.Jealousy
Have you ever been with a man who is so damn sexy that no woman can help herself near him? Whether it’s a suggestive smile or sending him a drink, he never seems to be able to escape the admiring crowds, and it can make you feel insecure, especially if you are feeling like an average Jane next to him, which is why women with gorgeous husbands boost their confidence by getting another man into bed. It shows they are a head-turner too, and makes them feel much more confident but remember, it could leave your relationship in tatters, and it won’t fix the jealousy issue.It's boring in the bedroom
Men aren't the only ones who need to spice things up. "Women need to feel desired!". If she is not getting any, enough, or nothing to talk about, women start to feel a sexual void.Unhappiness
For men, sex is a vital part of relationships. Women understand this. I mean, some of us find sex vital too but even if we don’t, we know that men need it. So when we aren’t having it, we know something is up. The survey found that women whose sex lives had dwindled felt like their partners didn’t love them anymore, or find them sexually attractive. Cue finding a man who does, and seeking comfort in his arms. Relationship by Kati Blake and other internet sourcesChange
Change can cause a women to seek an affair. From the obvious, such as having a baby, to simple things such as moving house, an affair will make her feel sexy and attractive and give her life some substance....until it ends that is. Grab a babysitter, book a night out and make a real effort for your partner. Try a wig and new name. Create the same effect, but involve your Mr. Right, or you could lose him!Warning
Some women cheat as a last warning to their man, particularly if they are refusing to do something, or make a change. It’s almost a childish “If you don’t do what I want, I’ll leave” action, but most of the time, it’s out of desperation rather than spite. Talk to him instead, tell him how you feel, and that you are about to give up. Communication is key for a successful relationship. Evaluate his reaction...if he doesn’t care, leave.They crave intimacy
Women tend to feel valued and connected to a significant other more through non-sexual, emotional interplay (talking, having fun together, being thoughtful, building a home and social life together, etc.) than sexual activity. When they’re not feeling that type of connection from their primary partner, they may seek it elsewhere.They are overwhelmed by the needs of others
Recent research about women who cheat indicates that many women, despite stating that they deeply love their spouse, their home, their work, and their lives, cheat anyway. These women often describe feeling so under-supported and overwhelmed by having to be all things to all people at all times that they seek extramarital sex as a form of life-fulfillment.They are lonely
Women can experience loneliness in a relationship for any number of reasons. Maybe their spouse works long hours or travels for business on a regular basis, or maybe their spouse is emotionally unavailable. Whatever the cause, they feel lonely, and they seek connection through infidelity to fill the void.They expect too much from a primary relationship
Some women have unreasonable expectations about what their primary partner and relationship should provide. They expect their significant other to meet their every need 24/7, 365 days a year, and when that doesn’t happen, they seek attention elsewhere.A Word From Bounce Nation
The damage is not always easy to fix, and results aren’t always perfect – we all have things we struggle to let go of, and some things violate individual moral codes. It takes time to figure that out sometimes, and rather than deciding that working past infidelity is impossible, joining with a therapist can give just the right amount of guidance to make sure both partners feel heard and are motivated to deal with what happened.Share your thoughts, and Join the conversation on Twitter or Facebook:
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